USB?

 This could be a pictorial that would take a very long time to set up, but no one reads this stuff 
(no one but the snarky)

I'll abbreviate

a new cable to replace one that is loyal and true but is literally falling apart.

new cable, connected to my phone

An old cable I had laying around to write this

The longer part:
I already knew that this cable was in the slow class, and I didn't care.
I did NOT know it wouldn't work at ALL with the phone, except as a charging cable.

A link (I'm not contradicting anyone, out-loud anyway, but it seems to me that pinouts of phones and cables are important. "Charging" cables must be missing a wire to a pin, or deliberately miswiring that wire over to power?)

according to the AI summary of reddit

So (hoary advice from the elderly) buy the highest power/speed, unless you reeeelly know what you're doing.

As a general-purpose USB cable, this new one totally sucks.
As an Xbox cable, it works great, so far.
The old cable-emeritus is there to help when needed.
(Let us bid a fond farewell....)

I just browsed usb compatibility, wondering if maybe the new cable had some futuristic design.

No, the official usb 4 (for example only) is compatible all the way back to USB 2

(it says.)

*I* think people tweak the damn wiring. 

And, if they have a long list of stuff their cable is compatible with, walk away.

My cable must not be a generic 3.xvx (3.0, 3.1 gen 1 or 2)

But I really wouldn't know; I glossed over their long list.

My new cable is "480mbps" so it isn't really usb3-anything.
It's a charging cable. Which is maybe OK, 

but I haven't learned to read between lines of USB cables.

In fact, if it didn't look so slim and trim and drop-proof, I'd send it back.
The beefy cables I already have, look down on it.

One reviewer claims it will break easily.
I'll try to be careful.
OTOH it's WAY overpriced (geez)

(insert "sheepish" emoji here)

Greedy bastards inventing different ways to make USB-shaped connectors incompatible.

What was it, "micro-usb," "Lightning," "USB-C" (but noooo, they had to tweek usb C, see above)

So you grab a suitcase of usb cables to take on a damn trip...

non-standard USB C must be the cause of many strokes, hmmm