dear sir/ma'am

 A photo editing program writes me for years after a one-day trial.

"dear sir/ma'am" I don't know whether to pity them or resent their form-letter attitude, their endless search for my dollar.

So anyway, another year is almost gone, and what have I done with my photo-editing software?

Nothing.

I want a package that enhances like on all cop shows everywhere.

Abby Sciuto or her friend can magnify and clarify a small section of a photo, automatically, "instantly" (They actually take one or two seconds, to make it more realistic)

This is nearly the same as that crime scene investigator entering a room and finding a microscopic piece of detritus she then holds up to the tightly focused camera.

So it's effect, not real, but, can't they even attempt it?

You-know, AI the crap out of a blurry 1962 photo to remove blurry and add sharp?

O, and blow it up as big as in the movie "High Anxiety."

Unfortunately there are guys online who take incredibly huge photos of nothing, as if it in itself is meaningful (it is not.) 

They will, at the drop of a hat, launch into photography lectures and use special terminology....

I don't want such a photo program, and if I remember to, I cut my photos down to 640x480.

Sharpening blurriness never works.

The stuff I idolize is, brightness, contrast, color. and resize-ability.

The end

pretentious? Overworked? Fails to impress?

Well yeah, but to get the good stuff you scoop up the boring/bombastic...

The image was originally edited (I think) to prove a point, and in my very amateurish attempt

to clean up the file (*buffs fingernails*) you can actually see the section they edited (it looks a little like green smoke)

At the risk of being totally bombastic, I re-re-edited the picture, looking for needless colors in the background.

The above picture has too much green.

Then I turned down green and was left with too much red.

So I lowered the red.

It isn't perfect, but it's better:

I'm totally ignoring those striped lines like on a 90's TV, I figure there's a reason for them and a way to make them go away, I just don't care a whole lot right now.

Zilllllions grew up with tiny striped pictures (no not the picture, the stripes ... o nvm)

Add at least one more thing I like but very rarely use: Color curves.

Gimp (cuz it's free and Linux-leaning) comes highly recommended (or advertised, IDK)

Irfanview (It showed up, like some stray cat.)

It seems to do everything I'd want, but it is way too early to tell.

Nice kitty

Also *this* page showed up for googling cop-show photo enhancement.

Is it real, is it only special effects, is it (like on this link) just good salesmanship??

https://www.geckoandfly.com/7635/fbi-cia-and-csi-image-or-photo-enhancing-software/#google_vignette

The photographer in the show you just woke up from falling asleep to,

buys a zillion dollar camera to photograph lizards catching flies with their tongue, at 200x resolution, from 1000 yards away.

Yes-yes, very nice, (how much was all that gear, how many donors did it take to purchase?)

The narrator mumbles on, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

It's VERY good that I did not splurge on software, choosing instead to buy free or cheap.

Because a mouse (it's really a trackball) and a normal keyboard are very expensive.

(damn tariffs)

If maybe my venerable keyboard and trackball no longer work, which is definitely possible, these will do fine.

My grime-encrusted (uhhh) o) "Realforce" with the nearly busted USB connector, types *perfectly* now that's, um, (what) stick your blurb-word here. "Combat ready" (?)

Well... double typing is the bane of mechanical keyboards. And guess which one I got?

A (fancy-ass newfangled) mechanical.

"Topre" was not available.

O well.

I've read mechanical-keyboard review sites (who else would love typing so much?)
 But they never speak the truth.

Why (for example) would you diss the number-pad? Someone long ago thought to include it next to the letters, great!! Now a new generation of punks don't like them, or are they copying from a popular review and don't really care.

Forget Numpads, what about repeating keys???

Topre is supreme.

The other types of keys ("cherry red" "cherry brown") aren't talked about much anymore.

"Magnetic dual rail" isn't discussed.... apparently, and in the vaguest terms that review-sites can muster, the keys can be adjusted through software.

What about the default settings, do they work well on default?

I cannot fathom why motherboard-makers get dragged kicking to replace usb-a with C.

Doesn't it save space, isn't that your stated goal?

My thinking is that they're in business to make money, and they have barrels full of usb-A connectors.

So fine. My usb-c at home and my one usb-c here must be preserved carefully, like golden artifacts.

I am nearly positive I killed a couple USB-A at home...so the usb-C is even more precious.

Here, I use the C for power (because the power connector is even MORE precious)

and for ethernet.

That leaves an adapter for the keyboard, or maybe seriously consider Bluetooth. 

"I bought it" has the most votes!! There ya go, 
"I bought it" must be best.
The rest of the sycophants and shills lost badly

The "greatest keyboard" title above should be disqualified, because he replaced half the switches (the "keys") with another set!

So no, it wasn't the "greatest," he was dissatisfied.

I'd paste a picture, but why?

Black pepper. Coarse black pepper. Grinder black pepper. It's a PITA that every damn thing in life you can buy, has so many variations. Was this the one that won the award?

Was THIS the one people hated??

So that review site I JUST read, mentions none of this, they ranted about numpads.

Freaking review sites are shills, I swear...Copying from some damn company flyer.
WHY doesn't anyone know "KSA/OSA" keys??

Keychron blurb (on Amazon)

Activate, reset...not the terms I would use to describe the two things happening in a keyboard-key, but does it explain "aa"? A-activate, a-reset? or are we talking some way different technology.

More importantly, people go on (in forums) about quality-control.

Cheap factories in corrugated steel warehouses don't have a lot of that.

(What does the boss's son do again?)

If you managed to get a version they send to trade shows and reviewers, congratulations.

Logitech is freaking notorious for picking the kind of cheapo mouse switches that start double-clicking after a few months. I seriously do not know about their keyboards (Except I doubt they use the most hifalutin switches available)

and, what the hell is with the trackball?

It's a newer model, tons more than the previous one, and people were very unhappy getting the previous one (in an open box.)

Apparently people would try it, write a blog or make a video, send it back, and some poor soul got it.

I love this computer, and hope it lasts. 

The other stuff is trimming.

When I want to BUY trimming, I go by whatever amazon-prime-speedy has to offer.

Takes 3 weeks? Pass.

Not sold by amazon??

Pass!

So the limited choices can be expensive and not the best.

xbox(tm) controller, please.

You want it WHEN?? no, nonononono.

OK, well, what DO you have?

(In the overpriced crap department?)

What was that?

Nothing, please continue.

"RAZER WOLVERINE V3 TOURNAMENT"

Yeah ok. (paying the bill)

...

I wonder what reviews say about my choice???

The controller has no replaceable sticks, boohoo.

I'm more interested in WHY no one ever recesses the damn USB-C connector to protect it when the controller inevitably drops to the floor!!

My very thin 90-degree angled cable is at home (unless it's gone) so I'll have to be extra careful. 

ya know, for an exclusively wired controller, they sure want a lot of money. What makes it so special beyond vague salesmanship???

Keyboard review:

The two People I'm quoting must be of upper-crust ilk and live on a beach or a mountain next to the sea ... but the double-typing thing rings true.

I don't think I've ever heard of a keyboard double-typing *itself* though.

Someone somewhere is not ashamed to say how much they hate every product I've bought.

Every single One!!

Once I built a computer system,

ran it just fine

Once I built a computer system,

now it's done...

Buddy, can you spare a dime?

(Or $14 for a pack of marlboros??)

Pay! you've got plenty of money anyway.

StaY! that order to pay, I order it right away.

Yes, we decree, no pay, let them eat cake, OK?

oyea