rental stove

 Being slightly pissed at my coordinator for abandoning this project.
Take my stove.
Please.
I had no idea until five minutes ago that the burners, set just past "light" are blast-furnaces usually, 
BUT if you keep counterintuitively cranking up the damn gas ("burn!" "Burn!!")
it will lower to some sane level (medium or low)
Old fashioned settings were too old fashioned, so they made them backwards
(HIGH, Medium, Low)

Oh, and you can hook it up to Wifi! Or something.
Here's hoping that the burners and the oven ignore all that newfangled circuitry.
And, what if it doesn't light while you're impressing friends across town at TJ Maxx??

Come home to a blown-up place?

I don't trust gas spark pilot lights, and you can do this little experiment:

Turn ON the burner, get it nice and hot.
Turn it off, count to 10, turn it back on.

does it *fail* to light, and all you get is hissing gas?

Is it just me? 
Burners (old pilot light, newfangled pilot lights)
won't light when hot. Like if you want to cook your eggs a little more,

or make some more for your spouse.

There are REASONS you'd want to restart a damn burner. 

I just never questioned why it doesn't work sometimes.

(cleanyadawhatever buy a BBQ lighter, keep it handy

But that doesn't explain ovens...ha-ha  

or remote-control cooking.

Samsung (everyone?) insists on knowing *exactly* where your little device is, and who you are, and where they can send advertisements.

I am like the old lady in the story about light sockets with no bulbs (is electricity leaking out?)

because, unused wifi / whatever, is it constantly phoning home, can others (evil neighbors) assimilate it into their collective?

But the worst part is the official Samsung Burner parts.
4-each?? I wish!!
No, they are uniquely crafted to be different from each other, and super-expensive (thank Biden)

I'm joking but no one would pay $120 for a piece of metal that is part of a burner (I'll get a picture or you could just take my word.

Plus, to extract extra profit, they've added parts to a burner and made sure it doesn't work without all the parts.
What parts, you ask?

Looking at the right-hand of my picture, they've added two useless hunks of metal called 

"Burner Ring and Cap" but the so-called vendor denied us a cap, saying the ring was enough.
It isn't!!

And me, not allowed to buy spare parts (I've been warned) bought a ^%$# spare part anyway, from a generic place.
Translation: the part might not fit.
I'll edit this. (Edit: the $20 part, that dinky plate next to the ring, seems to work. I'm ashamed I paid $20, though. Was extra-dinky the right size? I'll never know)

Samsung really tucked away my model number, as if they were ashamed of it. 

They painted the doors of my closet, or (practically speaking) they sealed them for all time.

I mentioned they were hard to open, before they started, Biggie mistake.
NOW they're impossible to open. 

My blood pressure meter is at the dump or at a neighbor's place, anyway it's gone forever.

The kitchen floor is coated with some damn material (anti-wax?) that tests the mettle of poor Swiffer mops.

It's like, glue for dirt.
I can pry away dirt from its grasp; I just cannot eliminate whatever it is.
It's stuck on good, unless there's a magic chemical or a really stiff brush.

Stoves used to be enameled steel...now, painted thin sheets of aluminum, seems like.

Well I'll try not to ruin your damn floor (concrete would have been fine)
Or dent the stove too much.

It's all deposit-bait.

Did I mention that when the boiler room has a stroke, water comes up through the formerly carpeted floor?
I don't know what happens to linoleum......

The hole in the wall is a monument to all the clothes that died sopping up the water through the wall.
Anonymous clothes, remembered by a prominent hole and a tostada-wall.

To their credit (yes, this is an edit) they fixed my window blinds and only the most dedicated nosy people (two of them) can peer in. They patched the wall (kind of).

The closet door and other things are on a list.