draft: House (Foreman dying)

 Foreman's amylase and Lipase are way up (way down??)

note to self:

Pull up the last lab, what were my amylase+Lipase doing?

Foreman had a parasite from water attacking his brain.

(I've got a moldy rug with water in it)

Anyway, Amylase and Lipase won't worry people unless it goes outside 30-160.

Waitasec, I need a pic to prove it.

Let's assume your friendly neighborhood underpaid tech (or their computer) wasn't lazy that day.

Nobody wants to handle blood, they give it to labs to test.

The lab gives it to a machine to test.

The machine spits out results like a calculator on a little receipt.

Buy a damn machine (if you're richer than god) and you too could know the secret mysteries of your blood.

One of the things "House" seems to preach is that people can be dying and have results that look normal. "If only someone had actually looked at the blood", but some bored doctor tested me for parasites, and I didn't have any to speak of (if you're hankering for a private hospital room, parasites might help)

It's a funny thing (OK?) that Lipase (the lack of it) can be bad for the fats in your system.
But, (uh) what if your amylase is normal, but your poo is too full of fat??
I know this means something, I just don't know what.
Consider the healthy pancreas whose host (your body) is having problems with.
You know for a fact that, when you eat starchy food, your blood sugar skyrockets.
You Also know you're pooing too much fat ("Pooing" is a word??)

So, anyway, I've read that the pancreas has little connective tunnels (to wherever the pancreas is connected to) And those tunnels can get clogged.

No easy way to unblock your pancreas except with surgery.

(Unless, uh, there's this drug they sell (not on amazon) for 19.95. that's 19.95 or an extra bottle free (just pay S/H)

But seriously, I need to research two things: If my pancreas is alive and happy but has poor circulation through blood or through blocked ducts.

This was supposed to be a draft.

I hate drafts.

My pancreas is acting exactly like a draft...it's there but no one sees it.

Not very helpful.. I'll keep looking

OK NOW you're just showing off.
Can't I flush it with chicken soup? Some spice?

Pain or itching (one vs the other).

I have neither (right this second), so...I've got a lazy pancreas??

Who knew baloney sandwiches were harmful, hazardous to my health (and I've been warned)

But they're so good.

I've been reading, and if you are not losing weight, you're *probably* ok, pancreas-wise, uhm, and I am not good at chess but the brief thought that I should look like an overfed cow but do not, is too sophisticated a thought for me to think about.

Plus my back does not hurt (much).

Whatever's wrong has the equivalence of a squeak in a fairly new car...

I'm supposed to call some vascular test-place, the same place some reviewer wrote was the worst in the area.

Oh, well...maybe I'll get lucky and the machine they use to test me will be all obvious.

I really need to call them...someday I will, I swear.

mostly women get sick on internet