Peaches and Dulcinea: Marketing

https://techcrunch.com/2021/07/14/microsoft-launches-windows-365/

I don't know much yet, give me a chance to get past the paradigm-marketing bullshit...

But it explains a lot. (well not knowing anything, I can make assumptions, right?)

Just like TV's today are marketing tools for content providers (OK besides commercials)

Windows is a platform you can stream stuff to, for a price.

But I'm waxing bombastic...

Given the current state of clouds (or is that some political smear-job from Oracle, Apple, and the minions??)

Uhm, OK: Given how totally vulnerable clouds can be, I don't care what inscrutable terminology you use, uhm, hmm.

Focusing in on certain processors and TPM becomes clearer,

they want the slaves to wear an identity-badge.

*My* PC is unworthy, prolly always will be, but the dutiful drone will run out and buy the latest hardware so he can be part of the new collective.

(unfortunately all the Microsoft-memes about the Borg are really bad...uhm, I'll find a cleverer last line, I swear...O, my reruns are on. Bye)

I don't know any creepy one-liner meme-type phrases for this logo

https://www.theverge.com/2021/7/15/22578396/microsoft-windows-365-pricing-skus-monthly-subscription-cost

A zillion years ago (a google moment)1996?? MSNBC started. A couple years later my Cable carried it, but I think they missed an opportunity to make it windows-centric, to use fancy technology to "Stream" content.

Buut nooo, it's a forum for blowhards...

Now they're missing an opportunity to push pretty hosts hawking stuff.

OK that sounded better in my head.

You can't ignore users who don't work for conglomerates, but

Microsoft yada bread is buttered, etc.

https://admx.help/?Category=Windows_7_2008R2&Policy=Microsoft.Policies.WindowsDefender::SpyNetReporting

If "ADMX.help" is a valid site, this is what they said (They wrote a book but this is a teeny quote from it)

I thought you said "Spynet" got it.
Or "MAPS". Or whatever cute name you thought up today.

Microsoft Defender Antivirus (MDAV formerly known as Windows Defender Antivirus (WDAV)) (AV, EPP) for these OS’es:

https://www.digitalcitizen.life/windows-defender-gets-cloud-protection-windows-10-how-turn-it/

"Automatic sample submission": to who? Where? it keeps turning off, maybe it's being wise.

I mean, *yeah* you can force it on through methods Rube Goldberg would be proud of, but . . .

If they could just redirect all those samples (for research, of course, or for a class)

MAPS/Spynet sounds like a little club, (..."that Spynet is an old Name vor MAPS.") and whatever it is cannot be googled easily.

Why do they want to check my browser history?

I mean, if you're Mr. Scrooge running a slave-factory you want to keep tabs on employees going to gambling sites and downloading porn...but who cares what *I* do?

Yes, I'm mixing up what goes where...

In a perfect, pristine above-board world,

uh,

If you went to a gambling/porn site and found a virus *so* new, so unheard of, people would benefit from your misfortune, assuming windows even caught the unheard-of, new thing (which was too stupid to disguise its virus tendencies)

But in our real world, political, uhm, partisans might want to know where you go, virus-writers might (among other things) want to know who downloads their virus (besides general, uhm, evilness)

I'm turning it off.

Fucket.

They already know it's a virus, They know what it's for, why do they want a sample, to gloat?

Googling "maps, spynet."

Your company ("Enterprise") might want to know, and for good reasons.

Private users wouldn't know or care unless they're terminally nosy.

The fact you have a virus should be known to you and your defender, not some damn club of evil minions...By the way if any of that came out as pontificating, I apologize...but auto-sample-submission just seems really badly thought out.

Already sending notes like a good and faithful servant

"Spynet" whoever they are, uses the vague aegis "the community" and "the community" wants to (let's see) burn Down CVS, wreck the capitol in an effort to attack politicians who don't agree with them, shoot stuff.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microsoft_Active_Protection_Service

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microsoft_Defender

Somewhere, I don't know where, is a long bombastic article listing reasons why they keep changing the name.

Let's assume people retire or quit, and new members are hired, new consultants brought in,

but I was more interested in the politics of it all.

WILDly guessing, (ok?) they have demonstrations that fail.

or really pissed off employees show up to meetings with viruses they did not apprehend (quarantine, I'm not down with the lingo), and heads roll.

But like I said at the beginning of this paragraph, it's probably attrition and new managers flexing their newfound powers.

If you enable stuff, be prepared to know where they are and what they call themselves, or be subsumed by the forces of darkness.

People who know this stuff and talk about it, use unreadable acronyms.

https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:GPtXEhLqjpwJ:https://www.pentestpartners.com/security-blog/abusing-rdps-remote-credential-guard-with-rubeus-ptt/+&cd=7&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us

Anyway...

So I see this little security option, "restrict Incoming NTLM" which, you know, is fine because I don't run a server.

If I were asking for credentials from a domain, uhm, my logic might be that whoever has the NTLM goodies, needs to talk to me. If I restrict them, suddenly I'm deaf.

Which might be why "Credential guard" is busted now...

But I don't have any credentials to *guard*, do I?

Not remotely, anyway.

OK I probably don't know what I just said, this is like asking to use the bathroom in France, but I'm trying.

Do I *lift* the restriction, pleasing "credential guard" (maybe), do I try to read the unreadable (above) or do I ignore it all and hope restricting stuff randomly is a best-practice?

I don't have or want "remote desktop."

Où se trouvent les toilettes (Oowee "la toilet"??)
Oowee el Pissoir??
(oowee merde?)

@#!$ Merde!

(Yeah well, *fuck that*)
Excuse me, wise person, what does a home user with no remote-friends need to set??
(Or do I need to tickle your ass with a feather to find out?)

The spam in my "outlook" program arrives from "gmail" just fine,

So, I'm guessing, "Incoming NTLM" isn't a thing I need...

"Credential guard" is something Active-Directory subscribers (Azure-whatever) use.

I wish Microsoft stopped putting their utilities in the witness protection program every couple months...

Active directory ->Azure->"365"-something.

Phhht, "Active directory," I don't even have a NAS, how neanderthal is that(!)

Their marketing is mighty strong, but so far I've been able to resist, having outlook excel and my dusty Word on my own unscrambled disk.

I'll die a poor man though...

I wanna say to the next mind-sucking vampire I see,

"take me away from all of this Tech"

If they're to be believed,
George Armstrong Custer had short dark hair, not long blonde hair....
But I gotta spend an hour looking for another picture to verify the picture,
and yet another one to show how everyone thinks he has long blonde hair.

I'd swear all this photos are retouched anyway; that guy in the first picture has rosy cheeks, doesn't he?

OK forget it, nevermind.

Maybe hair only Looks dark in Black-and-white.