Are You burning candles or is a fire burning somewhere? (My new deskmat must be screaming in pain from yet another ash)
Anyway there are several BBD (Beautiful but Deadly) items to buy:
An Oil Lamp.
The kind an amusement park used to sell, cheap.
They smell nice so parents don't mind, and in case of fire (not that there ever was one) they were tiny.
Big aromatic candles mean something (Psychology of shapes, ibid) but mostly, they smell nice.
Buy something that smells nice!
Non-flammable.
But sadly aroma thingies are too complicated, they're like expensive kits.
Gone are the days when you bought plastic boats filled with lemony wax (plus everyone got sick of the overpowering wax)
Um,
Non-flammable.
But sadly aroma thingies are too complicated, they're like expensive kits.
Gone are the days when you bought plastic boats filled with lemony wax (plus everyone got sick of the overpowering wax)
Um,
uh,
Mint.
Cinnamon.
This all looks so pretty, I've squeezed-out any room for ranting.
And I want you to read it! (Fck) Not gloss, like you always do...you can skip the pictures, my text is golden.
Other than spreading "White Shoulders" all over the house and weeping in despair, uh,
And I want you to read it! (Fck) Not gloss, like you always do...you can skip the pictures, my text is golden.
Other than spreading "White Shoulders" all over the house and weeping in despair, uh,
I want a strong-smelling candle but not Pine, more christmassy, thank-you, please.
And I have a terrible habit of wringing the typing hands in my head and erasing these, or I'd remember the "Bowl Candle" I picked several months ago.
Fucket, maybe next year.
 |
| FOCK! A candle that smells like a dive after a big party with lots of fat men and their whores. How depressing. But I'll read the reviews "I bought it for my husband-dad-boyfriend-husband's-son AND HE LOVED IT" (but that's guessing, I need to read) |
I want the trollop-dressing-room candle, the one where you're drunk and your forehead is sweating, and you feel a little sick from all the perfume (Please play "Fallout" to get the scenery right inside your head)
 |
| YES!! (well, no, $60 with tax and shipping, OMG) |
 |
| Geez, what is it with the sickroom-smells? bleah... |
There's a lady who knows all that glitters is gold, and she sells it with a heady perfume, in her candle shop. $300 for a typical candle, all hypnotic and stuff.
mm.
Men live in forest,
Men live in cave
Smell like tree.
(bullshit, real men smell like wd40 and grease,
and sawdust)
Toluene-scented, for that manly reek.
The above blurb about manly-yada smell, happens to be one that ranks as the strongest candle.
Candles made in Vietnam deserve love too, Apple-y and cinnamon-y.
Candles made in Vietnam deserve love too, Apple-y and cinnamon-y.
What's with woodsy and Eucalyptus?
For &^%$#, it's a freaking trend, damn.
I want a Martha-Stewart candle from yesteryear.
For &^%$#, it's a freaking trend, damn.
I want a Martha-Stewart candle from yesteryear.
Beee sides.....
(o NVM but you wanna smell decent for WOMEN)
"Mahogany" bah
You want your big empty house to smell *cheerful* and full of ghostly memories, at Christmas,
Like in 2004 (or 1984, whenever)
Not like stale beer.
But I like food, the kind people ask whatchyer cooking.
Cinnamon apple (I guess they seem to be the only foods candles are made of)
Or vanilla spice (I made that up, I gotta go look now)
The kind of scent to complement dripping windows, heavy with cooking condensation,
sweaty foreheads, (loud accusatory arguments,
"Why can't you be more like George," etc)
 |
| Soy Allergy |
So when the first responders arrive at 1AM they don't accuse you of being a lonely slob (*sniff*)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sane sales blurb (maybe they paid someone to write it) and they wrote it so well, I am buying one.
I'd rather have a jar, but whatever.
Vise-grips holding a screw would make a good holder, or a pie tin (I threw out after a zillion bugs made it their liquor store) I... don't know. I'll think of something.
"2.5in x 4in." doesn't sound very long-lasting; it's not a candle I could afford to keep buying.
Plus I didn't read their blurb well enough,
"Artisanal style" is a way of putting "Trader-joes organic bla-bla-free"
so as to raise prices (like premium Gas.)
I'm ready, jaundiced-eye and askance, bring it on, and maybe (next month) I'll find something more substantial.
The drug store had "Lavender and Eucalyptus" and several other orphaned, abandoned smells.
Eucalyptus brings back medical memories, such as "Mentholatum" and "Ben Gay."
I hate the color "Lavender" but I don't know about the smell.
Most of my life I've been blithely ignorant of what was going on around me, and especially, what people were thinking.
So apologies in advance if this entry looks tone-deaf; I honestly didn't know about that Factory.
I might delete this candle-entry yet again, I need one (an entry) but it looks wrong right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment