untitled

 I considered the title "In Petto" but that just sounds creepy.
It's about my sewer being possessed, or at least not "on" 24/7,
 like all sewers should be.
Then a train-of-thought hit me that nowadays we expect our internet to be always on, 24/7, or we're pissed.
Is the internet like a sewer?
Then the train ended abruptly, because it could be compared to a gas line, or steamy heat as well.
So nevermind.

Po-Ssessed

Shall I compare it to a bottomless-well that isn't bottomless anymore?

It costs money to unclog, and 'tis the season to raise the rent.

Someone's reading this, I swear...the internet cut me off as soon as this was uploaded.

Possessed-sewer that has the power to kill.

Actually it was being possessed by tree roots, temporarily roto-rooted (I don't know how long it takes roots to grow.)

I wonder about the totally destroyed pipe bleeding under the lawn.

I'm, um, My digestive system never closes. You can't know what that means, except if you imagine sitting above a possessed sewer, you might get a clue.

("Boom,"

says the water-heater, And you already know what the internet says (because I just told you.)

"Something wicked this way comes" 

doesn't really cover it, but it's all I've got.

(link)

I can't stop looking at candles...I gotta say, my choices so far have been duds, they don't smell for jack, and the one I bought from Amazon sits in a tin can, so it isn't romantical nor smelly.

I like this one, kind of:

Patchouli and Whut??

What if I hate "Balsam"?

But OK, I've got the brand.

Not much money though.

I've been told, I'm doing it wrong.

Wax warmers are trendier. I think, maybe safer.

Plus they're designed to smell (or what would be the point)

It's not science, it's a faith-based Calling! OMG!!

But no, it's all too expensive right now, and I don't think I want "Seabreeze."

c-could you add wax cubes to a candle?

Just a thought, smell with none of the bullshit.

Soy must be the new EVOO, promoted by the soy-council.

Why else would Bob Vila have a similarly worded blurb about how good soy is.

I'm allergic to soy, and I do not know if smelling Soy triggers a response, but candle-companies mention allergies.

It isn't easy finding a paraffin candle.

Everyone says Paraffin is better for smells.

This won't go over well with the hoity-toity crowd, the ones who pay extra to get their kids in the right schools.

Fucket, it's how I feel, and this is my blog.

Apple-cinnamon must've been banned, along with Rose and Lemon, They're anathema and in their place are vague smells. Flowery smells.

Unless you're a man (what hypocrisy) and then you're supposed to buy oak.

I still like my patchouli and the other thing (balsam) sounds like the smell of a desk, so OK.

Plus, tax, Plus shipping, (OMG)
That, uh, "31-oz", does that count the heavy bowl? (omg)

There's always some bright-bulb every couple of years who shoves a router down the throat of his toilet, shooting the shit out of mine.

And in that spirit, to avoid a brown-disaster that will need candle-therapy for years to come, I hope someone calls, soon, or I call, but half the time whatever they do doesn't work past a few hours or days.

The somethings I ate (or maybe it's just slow death) are causing me to inflate like a balloon.

"Sepsis," google says.

"Just drink ginger tea," google says.

How in hell would they know if it's "Sepsis" and not just Diverticulitis???

?

Because, ya know (I'd be great at parties) I've been told I have diverticulitis, they even have an x-ray somewhere. 

WHY can't they just, um, do exploratory surgery?

Seeing a doctor is like joining "Fight club", there are strict rules.

You could DIE if you infer (because, Google) that you know more than the houseplant they call a primary doctor.

PPSS (addendum, amendment, ROTD:)

If someone gives you an online "credit card" can you use it to (I don't know...) Buy a pizza, or must it be something online?

Wait, you can buy pizzas online, but that's not what I meant.

I'm guessing you can't use it to buy gifts from the 99c store.

No, they'll (prolly) give you a number, and a supersecret (uh) shorter number (it has a specific name but I forgot it) and the easiest thing to do is buy something from Amazon.

Or pay the phone bill.

(O yeah, the phone bill!! Righteous!!)

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Gah! Yogurt-good, yogurt-bad all the advice-giving hosts on talk-shows are overweight. Thou shalt eat EVOO, and sometimes, yogurt. We haven't invented it yet but we will, non fattening yogurt with EVOO from heaven.

It's the yogurt, ban the yogurt


There is ONE cook on tv I'd totally believe, even though I know she's a satellite for the olive-oil council (they've gotten to everyone)

PS Avocado Oil rules. It's a freaking lifesaver.

Now (be honest) when's the last time anyone peeped about avocado oil??

Someone  (SamWan) Delaurentis (I'll find her and edit this)

Giada De
Laurentiis

Her kitchen is to die for, so is she, and I believe anything she says (but only for a minute until the commercial on the shows I watch are over)

























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