Peaches and Dulcinea: DS3

Dark souls 3, some jotted notes:
Most people don't use a freakin blog to take notes, but notepad kind of sucks.
Anything else I use would switch out of the game, and I'm terrible at texting.

OK, "Elden Ring" looks exactly the same, which means many puzzles ahead, and circuitous routes, and I prolly die a lot.

The tenth time I play will be better than the first, and I'll eventually tire of the routes and buy something else, not that I should pre-judge 5 minutes into the game.

It appears to be in Black-and-white with splashes of color to let you know the monitor still works.
I'm um, undecided; I *love* the tutorial, but eventually I'll have to play for real.

Since I stare at my character's body for most of the game, I maybe should learn more about how to shape her.
Eyes tilted in or out, what does that mean?
Can she be Japanese (Korean, whatever) or not?
If she's dead, why is she wearing lipstick and Eyeshadow, was there a "viewing"?
Doomed to kill monsters for no particular reason...I pressed a button and missed the opening narrative, and I have absolutely no clue why I'm there or how I got there.

Kill more monsters, travel to some damned temple (prolly)...

BTW this was 29.95, not 59.95 like it was last week.
Is that good?
Or is it unpopular and lonely so they stuck it on sale.

I can't remember if it was actually 59, or was it 39...regardless, it's on sale.

People (on forums like reddit) say that they liked "Bloodborne" better, then others (to be contrary?) say *this* is superior.

I gotta go, no way to pause definitively, I'm in a mini-menu and hoping that menu freezes some of the action,,,,
But I can't remember Elden Ring very well. Was everyone dead there too?
Lots less Ghoulish, as I recall, and I don't.
This IS Elden Ring, they just changed a few things.

I just looked up the word "Lugubrious" which translates out to sad and dismal.

There's a reason they don't just say "sad" or "dismal" but when you think up lugubrious, this game should come to mind.

Pointless, already doomed forever anyway, close to death.
I seem to recall very boring parts of that game,

but at least it had a map (I think.)

This game is much harder to figure out and to follow via google's walkthroughs.

Go to some high wall, hang a banner, says the old lady (Emma-something.)

I can't find *anything* and all the walls are high.

Look *behind* the statue covered with an adorable blanket, trigger the creepy catholic-funeral music, kill all the clerics and their boss, get a doll.

(OK, *now* what?)

Ooo, trendy
looks down on all mortals while eating her vegan salad.

Using cheats sort of defeats the purpose, I suppose, which is begging for the next upgrade in armor and a longer sword. Your purpose in life is to kill dead stuff, to resurrect the CEO's who killed everything in the first place, while your fellow slaves hang around some castle and think up pithy clever things to say when you come by.

And the mission of reviewers and youtubers and reddit denizens is to talk a lot but not reveal very much.

Someday I'll figure out a consistent way to summon screenshot-capabilities,
but for now that function is dead.

Whut?

I wanna refund (but I can't get one)
Maybe they're having a sale and I can covet something
I'll imagine I'm some oiled-up slave pleasing the mistress
(you're welcome)

At least he knew quo vadis and there were sexy scenes/

But seriously, "Nier automata" looks OK, despite her being a robot, but I guess that gets the game past the clerics and the self-righteous.
"Puss n Boots"-something is prolly more their cup of tea.
His magical power would be, gigantic eyes "These are not the kitties you're looking for."

Well, %$#@, I'm gonna go for it.

Nier, not the imaginary pussy game.

Don't insult game writers, telling them their game is linear.
Beeecause then you get insane shit like this.

Those critics are truly insane anyway, writers, don't listen to them.

A plot would'a been nice, I'm just saying, no offense intended....

I'll invent my own.
You're dead and have been recruited into the undead army of nice people (and naive people who missed the opening speech)

Donde esta el "escusado"?

OK, forget I asked.

Forget Lore, Follow the monsters (except in this game they don't stay dead)

Stick to well lit areas (it's pretty dark throughout)

And never Jump too far down (Secret-sidewalk rule)

Monsters have an unfair advantage so you must be clever (or google the crap out of it)

You're supposed to be able to heal in action, but I haven't figured that part out yet.

You can't/shouldn't diss something you know nothing about, so right off I'm transgressing; Someone labored countless hours over rats, bugs and slime...

Lemme predict the ending, a guy gives a speech, I get better clothes, music swells, end.

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Ranty of the day: People take a nice idea and stretch it out, take it too far.

Train: