Shredders

 edit:Food being impractical (and deadly, say all the filler headlines)
I wanted to write something practical for a second.
Like OK, no one writes much about mops or sink cleaners. (Boring, don't care)

And "snack cakes" are for the very-very rich, apparently.

Yeah, I fondly remember the f'ing parrot reading this and repeating it to the store manager, that they did not have "banana cakes",
Geez, a tossed off remark gets picked up by a tosser of remarks!

Well, here, some factual trivia on banana cakes:

$90.00, huh? "Let them eat cake" has lost all meaning.

In honor, or despite processed food, I made a gullet-filler with teeny pieces of cheese, noodles, squash, carrots, and plain yogurt, and except for the individual amounts, I doubt I'd find better on PBS, though I will admit they would have added some seafood, kale and maybe evoo.

OK, "Practical"

This guy couldn't be bothered to proof-read, or maybe he really does think shredders should be expensive (cuz they are.)
Remarkable.

And people buy the cheapest crap and complain it's cheap crap (which it is, of course)

And I only found out ten seconds ago that you need to buy oil or buy an oily sheet to lubricate the thing.

The company with the most freebies and demos is reviewed the most....
So I'm totally guessing from here down, don't read if you dislike fiction:

Buying the thickest one (the one that shreds the most sheets at once) must be best, or at least better than the "8-sheet" ones people seem miserable about.

The "Auto" sensor will break rather quickly, so it will just stay On until you unplug it (no biggie)
OK you need to clean and oil it, meaning, oil and a brush (no one talks brushes)
There's this medieval device they used to use in schools that has an enormous blade attached to a table, that only teachers could use. 

'K I'm old, I wonder if it'd be better (cheaper?) than a shredder, and what are they called?

"$325? $439?" whatever "Uline" is must only be for schools

Kids are like moths, they are attracted to the most dangerous object in the house...
Then your silly friends await your purchase so's they can break it and make fun.

Fucket. Lots of research, lots of editing.
Or I could just keep hoarding old flyers and insurance docs.

Badass Shredder (I hope)

Son of badass (Badass Squared, for american Imperialists)

for only $100 more than the last picture, you get touch-buttons.

You (me, ok? Me) buy the extravagant "Big Ball"-version hoping it's better, and some visitor snickers that they are on sale at walmart for $29.95, and I got cheated.

OK lie like a dog, tell them it was only $50
Does it come in "stainless"? For that much, you'd think so.

Is silvery plastic OK?

You can't compete with the upper-crust anyway,
they'd just say you're a cad, a bounder.
"Arm and a leg" is right.

Piss on them... I like the "Royal" one.

Now comes a decision:
Was all the above just bullshit or am I really serious about using a promotional gift to pay for a shredder?
The promotional gift from (redacted) has ($redacted) and I am suddenly fiscally solvent and therefore responsible.
Les' see... um, a router under 200 would be ridiculous (unless it was on sale)
But a guy could buy a most excellent shredder.
I'll let you know before hacker-rats eat it.

Bath-benches clone each other and it wouldn't surprise me at all to find out that one single factory makes them all.
They have holes in the seat, thin aluminum legs and feet that break off.
Mine has a broken seat, broken foot, broken back support....

Ya know, *fuck* the damn shredder (I keep mistyping "scanner" for whatever Freudian-slip reason)

One last practicality to type:

OK this is real stewpid, but despite my thought to the contrary, apparently Microsoft has no direct connection to Amazon, so the little letters they send for gift amounts (usually $5.00) need to be saved for the card-code.
Guess who didn't save the little letter with the damn code?
OK, I'm only out $5, but still.

Suss out the link by googling it, enter many cryptic codes they give you and force you to type (instead of just, uh, o nvm) and it's back. 

----------------

So I'm reading an article whose subject I know little about, but it's funny, in a tragic sort of way, and depending tons on your POV.

(crap, gotta find the dam link waitasec) After a black guy "George Floyd"
was killed, companies pretended to care.
But now companies, pre-Trump New Order, will drop "DEI" like some hot potato.

"Project 2025" is apparently the new order, which is kind of played down by Trump, but companies see which way the wind blows.
A typical investigative team, not an enforcement-division, was what companies had in mind, I'm thinking.
Well, anyway, it's interesting (and practical): Shut up about DEI, for now.

It's extremely difficult to even gloss over the underlying principles of a few words I keep stopping my reading at:

OK Project 2025 is supplanted by Agenda47, at least ostensibly.
And Marxists will not be tolerated (now, define "Marxists")

DEI is too marxist (I think that's what I'm glossing)

seriously, whut?

Unless you read faster than the speed of light and have 3 university degrees, it's hard to form an opinion.
OK, rephrasing: Whut is the GOP/Trump definition of "Marxism"-2024?
and don't say "anything liberal/democratic"

(link)