rougher/draftier

 In the imaginary house I just invented,

smart lightbulbs illuminate the cat-bathroom and the robot vacuum cleaner.

OK. One fine day the power company decides to cut all power for a short time 

(an hour), and the toilet, the bulbs and the vacuum are either off or dying (the battery ones) and spend the rest of the power they have left trying to phone home.
The robot especially, which completes its route (I'm guessing) or just stops dead on the floor, waiting for you to trip over it in your unlighted room.

You've fallen and can't get up, this could be a twilight zone episode.

Your phone still works, but it won't talk to anything. (They're dead.)

Being prepared for the next time, you listen to warning commercials on TV and order a Patriot-battery bank, or a Generac generator.

But the flood drowns the generac, and when was the last time you charged up the Patriot?

a $5-15 investment becomes a $1500 boondoggle (to avoid the above)

Plus, the router is temperamental and won't issue authorization commands to your stuff, because it's Tuesday.

Or the ceiling fell and ruined the wi-fi in the bulbs and pretty much destroyed the router.

Your landlord pays for the ceiling, but your router and bulbs are toast.

Rats rabbits and a cat idly chew on wires, so this isn't always the Power-company's fault.

Could this ever happen? I'm not feeling well 

and I don't want to brave the bombastic tirades

So this will remain a vague queasy feeling.

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There are interesting and professionally produced videos on crappy houses you wouldn't want to buy, on Youtube. (Don't buy flood-plain houses on the corner next to highways and railroad tracks!)
I wonder if there is a video warning you against "smart" lights and appliances?
They prolly have to make a few million more before anyone cares much.

(There are videos for everything, with commercials)

So, WTH, I'll go look, although it's prolly some gen-z guy trying to impress me...

This'Doctor who'-lookalike starts out OK and gets really boring very fast.
Because it was boring, I glossed and walked out in the middle, but it SOUNDS like, you need lots of stuff, not just one light-bulb.

So lightbulbs had mesh before routers, right? Now everyone has "Mesh" on their f'n lips, like it's a mantra.

But it just stalls my mind and makes it think of routers, not lightbulbs.

I'd fail a test right now, but they are expensive and quirky, apparently.

Smart-SWITCHES better than bulbs

I have a dimmer-switch. It's not smart, I can't call it from a plane to turn on, but it has worked pretty damn good for a year. 
It can go from dingy, to bright to match my mood.

So only people wanting colored lights they can call from Poughkeepsie would want smart light bulbs, assuming the router isn't taking a dump. 

Multicolored lights in my torchiere sound nice though. 
Like that scene in "Murder by death."

https://youtu.be/Lbl6d88wByE

Unless you stare at the light
you prolly wouldn't notice any difference
(with two whites)

This vendor at amazon doesn't look like you could mix/match, plus, the torchiere

is frail (spindly)

IDK. 

I hashed a different subject out before, tariffs and what they will do to existing stock.

I seriously doubt that this stuff flies off store-shelves, and I'd totally imagine that the stock of bulbs (especially, Chinese ones) is high, but the moment tariffs hit, 

prices everywhere will rise, I predict.

A temporary windfall for companies.

Stuff you were only *thinking* about buying should be bought, quickly, but multicolored dimmable-lights are far down the list.

Maybe Trump will bring back incandescents, that'd be nice.

New word of the day: "erstwhile", used by pretentious marketing types to denote "former," as in "the erstwhile president" or the erstwhile incandescent lighting solution.

Multicolored remote-controlled lights must be consolation for the erstwhile incandescent ones.

TLDR: Christmas lights (LED ones) can be dangerous.

a 60,000-word intro says that and then eventually intimates they contain chemicals you should not inhale.