clock

 It isn't like I don't know what I want, I know exactly...

Carefully perched on one leg, I need to attach it quickly and easily, 
noting that if it has lots of roomy space on the back, it'll become bug-real estate.
I don't know, they use google-maps or something, and zoom in on it like it was MacDonald's.

"Is it safe?" No!

Small bugs already use the top of my monitor to take their morning constitutionals...

Maybe it's the nice inviting smell.

The monitor itself is bulky and very heavy, which they use to their advantage...It's a landmark, like that Ferris-wheel on postcards, or maybe a famous tower.

Back to clocks...I window-shop every couple months and despair...

Too many features crowding the numbers or the hands,

 into indistinguishable blobs from across a room.

That "bird clock" is either 3:45 or 9:15 and would piss off neighbors (bugs'd love it) (wait, 3...2:45

or, um 9:15 yeah.

No!

 Firm Hands that proudly state the hour, elegantly assert the minute. Silent (or ticking, whatever)

With a solid backing, until bugs figure out a way to get into the holes.

Or maybe a shelf for, uh, ok forget it. I'll keep looking.

China must really be pissed at us

Poorly reviewed (plus that digital display looks unreadable, but whatever)

Wait, I got one. No glow, Bitter reminder of stern classroom, Forbidding, *austere*, W.T.H. maybe it's a fetish with some people.

A nice bright glowing "18:56" would be my choice (but my god)

Could the 99c store do better? (Probably)

The erection impaired, the slow, the dim-witted (lol)
We're animals anyway, so let us lose our money
(omg alarm? on a wall clock?)
Being a slow demented I might forget to ...uhm (what were we talking about?)
If you were a particularly sadistic-type person you could set all five alarms for 1,3,5AM
To go with that noisy velcro meter, Beeping instrument (pick one)
So they'd die quicker and you could finally have your inheritance 
(It's your money, yada whatever Now!!)

I keep saying "fucket" and settling for the least offensive model, 

then I think of the 99-cent store and the piss-poor reviews, and my terrible times in classrooms...

I loved my tick-tock square Seiko clock I bought in a mall from a hottie...It's not done anymore, clocks are round,

Clocks don't tick.

Clocks should be hard-to-read, so as to look subtle unless you're staring at it.

They shouldn't break, but...We're pissed at the manufacturing world, 

it's a wonder they don't piss on their products.

Gaze into the inscrutability.
Fucket (for the 19th time)

Vitamin-D-Deficient friendly

My administrator has forbidden me to click on Google-ads, so I can't verify that they really,
honest-to-goodnessly
added $100 because they stuck a name on it making it look like it isn't from Taiwan.
I can only guess and be smug I paid less.

Guests will pull their eyepieces from their jackets and verify it's wood from Scandinavia, not plastic from Taiwan.

PS:

The above (cheaper version) clock I settled on, has no power supply (it's assumed you have one,

 somewhere, 

buried amongst the detritus and the debris littering your little hovel)

I gotta log off and look for a power-supply.

PPSS I don't trust the fast-charger, it could switch into some fast-mode and kill something.

The Google-whatever is what I was looking for, but

It turns out my table-clock already has a USB port for just these situations...

And rejecting the quote in my head from "tell tale heart" (the first line),

I shall daisy-chain the clock, and the, uhm, clock.

----

It arrived, fairly quickly. I'd swear it has a "dim" setting because it went from Bright to dim,(I guess it's supposed to dim after 6pm. But if you needed a 24-hr clock, chances are you'd be in an artificially-lit room. Anyway, there is no "eye," it just chose to magically dim after 6.)

 

The cadillac of wall clocks has a remote-control and a count-down timer. They build these into microwaves, AC units...But we're talking clocks (and battery-backups for the clocks)

They want you buried in a rat's nest of wires...

On an ominous note, it did not change the hour (yet,) I had to pull it off the wall to sync it. 

I'll edit this in a few minutes.

It adds class to my trash. I don't know how long it will last and power-failures will doom it eventually...

Tick tock clocks reigned supreme and not much is around to replace them, but it sure looks nice, when the power is on.

---

"A watch" quoth the raven tapping at my chamber door...
"nevermore"
because the ones costing less than a zillion have bands that break and batteries that die.

I think, um, I've had decent ones but it's too far away to remember. And Washing-machines devour them. And watchmakers snigger and snort if you try to mention any features the watch is supposed to have.

"12 meters?" (rofl)"More like a bathtub...no, a shower, assuming they do not fog-up."

Watches that last a bit might cost 900, around what a good video card costs in better times.

I choose the video card (I'm thinking, someone somewhere will loan me the money to buy one).