My Pizza

I'm afraid to crack my microwave rotating plate, so I try to use a single chipped plate I got free.
The label says it's microwave-safe but it might get hot.
Yeah, it gets hot.
So I'm looking at plates on Amazon, 70.00, 40.00, whut?

I do not know my brands at all.
"Oneida" sounded good until I realized they're for caterers.

"Bone China" is hard to pin down, they show me tons of other products hoping I'll forget I was looking for "Bone China" (in quotes)

You'd think they'd have clearance-sales...
I'm all shocked they cost so much

Porcelain (size/shape does not matter, they get hot so forget porcelain)

Melamine sounds perfect (and supposedly will kill you slowly)

I have stoneware *now* so stoneware, porcelain, Melamine out.
Stainless? Microwaves look upon stainless with disgust, and shoot lightning bolts.

O...K, What...the...hell...Pure glass? (fuck'n A)

"Wood," right?? Seems perfect (at 2AM, sloshed)

Geezus, Wee r n 'ell.

I went to a site just now for recommended microwave dinner plates.
They either got bought off or they're slightly insane, but You read:

I figure they're pushing it to Trader-Joes types, "Degradable"?
Seriously? O sure, buy a product guaranteed to decay
This comment was MUCH longer but my editor ate it.

For pretentious people in Beach-houses watching HSN on Satellite, there is the "Charger Plate" for wary guests anxious about inviting you into their association.

How would you know these guys aren't lying until you break the microwave trying?

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"Corelle" is nice, in pictures, but people rant they're made in China.

Don't buy if your guests peek under the plate (spilling the gravy) or if your dish-cleaner is a snob

I hear "noritake" is made in Japan.

It looks so empty, so alone

A similar Noritake coupe plate:

I'll pass (holycrap)

EVERYTHING is made in china but they feel like it's a biggie thing to rant about.

They used to like, now they don't, they miss "Made in USA," blah (apparently these are fetishist collectors.)

Sets of plates depress me. 
I'd rather buy two singles.
I really like my chipped plate, but it's not the reason I'm buying one, I'm buying one for less heat (remember?) 

But if I can possibly control my spending urges, I should wait, for a swap meet, a 99-cent-store, even the supermarket.

Me 'n 5 imaginary friends

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Fucket. Anything more counts as ranting.

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I just bought a damn plate, from a no-name brand from one of those hoity-toity stores (Pottery Barn family, Williams Sonoma, West Elm and Mark & Graham)

For gobs (price and shipping and tax) and it's a final sale, no take-backsies.

I'm not absolutely sure what it's made of....

It's a freek'n Plate, but please read the below in fine print

Life is pointless...
(it's comforting that it's huge, though)

I heard (somewhere) google is being hopeless) that a decent-quality plate will "ding" if you flick it, unless you do it wrong and flick it clumsily, and then the plate would crash to the floor in pieces.

(ding) https://www.theteacupattic.com/what-is-crazing/ (I had another link about ringing-plates but this editor is being super bitchy) google fine China-Ringing (link) or NVM

o SHIT...it's very brittle, you say?
Storing it would let cockroaches have their way...

Credit/Link

Best to use it everyday,
till it DIES and goes away (I needed the rhyme)
Maybe I'll use it in the microwave constantly, a sort of a dress-up for the glass plate.

But maybe THAT would just kill it faster. So maybe it should decorate the top of the oven, until a roach comes by and I SLAP the plate, causing it to flip and fall into a million pieces (it's been that kind of a day)

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CVS has a computer-website they can use for coupons, but they also mail out biggie coupons, as well as put them on a receipt.

Try and follow this:

A straight-out refund of $10 (in store-items) is stuck onto the receipt, a 30-percent-rebate-coupon  is mailed, and tinier rebates are stuck into their website computer.

The upshot is, I bought a very expensive item confident that I had the coupon, but I didn't, so I asked to go home to get it, after the purchase was complete.

"No problem."

BIGGIE problem!!

The 30%-off coupon could no longer be applied, the item had to be refunded, and I have to wait a week to retry.

It promised me a ten-dollar store-item rebate if I purchased the expensive item, and I still have that coupon (which they might honor, might not.)

My kitchen table looks like a messy law-clerks desk, full of receipts and rebates.

I had more but I forgot....It's wait-a-week time.

Creepy feelings galore: Is the wheelchair usable, will the plate arrive OK (usable) 

Will the Medically prescribed (but denied) device be cheaper than it would have been if I'd just stayed home instead of going back and will that woman ever stop saying "I don't feel sorry for him" since I never asked her to.

forget the damn video, it's one of those deepy dark secrets no one tells you til it's way too late.
(eg, when (ever) have women apologized to you?)
I blame "Dad" issues.

This is the second denied device BTW, the first one was the Dexcom which I got an approval letter for if I buy it from some dinky supply house.
Was I supposed to do that *this* time? I'm not sure. Anyway my afterthought of a purchase could just be postponed (get thee behind me, coupons) 

until ... October or so. Plus I'll buy Walmart, I think.

The long awaited, cosmetically defective, slow boat from Katmandu, chair is *supposed* to arrive today. Did the damaged box bleed out parts, are the wheels melty or broken, WTF is actually *wrong* with it? (OK it's too small, but)

Will the cat-pawed guy lay it down gently and slink away?

The UPS man rides in on Sandburg's cat and moves on

You'd have to have read a zillion of my blog entries to understand that...

OK "Fog" by Carl Sandburg, is an illustration of something in English Classes everywhere.

The Fog comes in on little cat-feet, yada (I can't remember) and (presumably) Slinks away.

But to make it super-vague and deep, Teachers write (I swear, go google it)
" alliteration, assonance, and metaphor. Sandburg most notably uses metaphor in the poem “Fog.” Sandburg integrates the poem “Fog” with a metaphor comparing a cat to a fog."

He was high and fantasizing, possibly about starting a comic book.

Nyah.

What, you thought I was kidding?

Anyway, Delivery people knock loudly or imitate Sandburg's cat.

The guy wrote a 300-page Magnum Opus that is never *ever* mentioned in polite circles (lemme guess, communism-undertones?) 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_People,_Yes