Citizens United

 They're on a mission.

What that mission is or was, I'm not sure, except maybe that there used to be more limits on how much a person or group could contribute to an election.

Now, with a couple added rules, you can donate whatever.
We're lots more banana-republican than we used to be, seems like, 
But you can find their confident fact filled speeches all over the internet.
Don't believe the media, believe them instead.

https://www.opensecrets.org/news/reports/a-decade-under-citizens-united

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My internet is jittery, I've been told, really jittery.

A busted car could be there in twenty minutes...The point is, My setup works, theoretically.

Me reading news and writing these blogs doesn't actually matter, it's supposed to be when I watch movies.
But They're fine.
I suppose I could take a pill, adjust a setting
????

"Enable QOS" (%$#@, are you kidding me? SLows it down sooo slow, omigosh)

The "Upstream QOS" selection on my router totally ruins everything

And turning off "Ping" made no difference at all.

IDK

*Maybe* choose a (expensive, and the price just went UP $15) fast speed tier, because 

if it jitters to half-speed and goes to full speed, 

Yer not going to notice on a typical movie setup.

I feel extra decadent (profligate?) since they raised my price. 

I'm nearly positive that without their arcane discounts, 

I'd be paying $99.99 a month.

On a cold day (in hell, lol) my speed is technically 570, and the advertised speed, 500. So damn fast no one notices. But it makes a person wonder.

Lettuce sey, uh, "Speedtest" is so damn popular that it gets bogged down at noon.

Mebbe uh, 3-percent of 500 is 15 megabits, but you have to use math and translate that into, um, bits per second (Bits per something, my brain just stopped working)

Point being, testmynet gathers dust while "speedtest" is too hot to touch, hmm

Oooo, yeah....I remember now, how do you translate that little number on the picture above, "115" to mbps??? Seems high.
An unresponsive server *could* be what's going on, a crowded group of PCs nearby watching movies...

What is jitter as shown by speed testing sites, and how can we translate it into speed variance??? 

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I'm typing this badly in HTML beeeeeecause, The editor can't seem to get it right.
But let's say their testing tools are free and flawed, And we're supposed to believe them, whether it is true or not.

I had a premonition of me making a false or exaggerated statement (Like in the first paragraph) and a humorless reader is not amused.

Maybe I should concoct disclaimers, refer to Homer Simpson, etc. IDK.

But..."It's not the size or the speed but how it's used" seems fodder for your homophobian attitudes...lemme see.

I *tried* your freaking QOS and it was disastrous.

Let me propound the Signal-to-noise theory, or maybe the Speed-to-latency theory (pick one) that says, fast enough speed and the latency won't matter, high enough signal, noise won't matter.

Your opinion of me has no cash value, Trump 2024.