non pretentious pretentions

(I had to call it something)

A guy reposts an entire article about "wavy glass", tons better than modern glass, beeeecause the guy writing the article, sells wavy glass!!

Old, optically obscure, uhm...well anyway NOW it's "Irreplaceable" and stuff.

They could just MAKE it, but they'd have a very small market of pretentious people.
(Like the guys wanting 6502-style apple computers)

A few years ago, A guy I knew had a large plain window (windows tend to look that way, hence "curtains.")

He had this bright idea to fake-slice up the large window into *smaller* panes of glass, by using cleverly placed slices of wood.
One large pane, that looked small.
I didn't get it (Still don't) but if you wanted small panes, couldn't you buy some?
Yes, of course.
And if you wanted wavy panes of amber colored plexiglass, you could buy that too.
(Like on front doors, etc)

You can buy anything....(lol)

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So, you've heard about "VPN" and or maybe like the round-cheeked woman representing a life-lock customer, want more privacy.
So there are maybe 6 or seven paragraphs missing here about VPN's, and what they do, and no salesman is here to get you hooked into it.
*I* am too paranoid to click anything on webpages, let alone trusting some pimply teen to handle/fondle/peek at all my data, in the name of "VPN" privacy.

But I'm told, I already HAVE my OWN VPN, and if it were set up, I could scramble all my outgoing data, and I'd be lots trendier.

That's as far as I got, it makes no sense (the way I explained it)
But it's a note in my head, "set up a VPN"

It makes no sense because data is scrambled-then-unscrambled.

You could (maybe) scramble data generally but someone would need to unscramble it at some point, for the website you're reading to understand it. 

If you were sure a hacker lived close by and was monitoring you, but...what if he lived in another state, next to where the data is unscrambled?
Very confusing (to me).