I can haz a controller, hmm

 

I do not know the hierarchy of the Xbox controllers.
I know (sort of) that the most expensive ones have paddles.
https://xbox.fandom.com/wiki/List_of_Xbox_Wireless_Controller_variants

I still don't know because they're not sold by generation and model-year (I don't think)

I also know people send stuff free with the understanding that, if you want any more free stuff, you had better review it, and nicely.
So a guy reviewed one of their many models.
Some colors cost more. 
Paddles cost more.
This one has no paddles, but I read somewhere it's programmable, and has extra padding.
I wonder why the reviewer said that the original controllers were huge, or maybe he was talking about the console?

I'm kinda desperate for a damn controller lasting more than a few months before the buttons get sticky, or die, or just behave differently.
To hell with color.
Buut no, apparently they're all cursed. 

(actually I meant to say something meaningful here, such as "The older models / newer versions last longer"

But reviewers and vendors are quiet about this crucial feature.)

My "Gamesir" seemed great at first, but the "Sprint" /long-jump button (on The left analog stick) has a mechanical problem.
If you climb cliffs and run-jump to avoid death, it helps to have excellent buttons (that won't kill you.)
Have I mentioned the one about the player successfully navigating a difficult move and then walking off of a cliff?
Buttons get stuck and the person dies.

OK fine, this next f'ing controller will have a nice two-tone color, but I am wary of everything else.

Will the rubber melt, will the buttons freeze or refuse to work?

This next blurb you'll prolly have to click to read, is about a controller released in 2023.
Nothing is said about how long the self-healing buttons last, how easy it is to remove pringles-dust,
No we're treated to a newer color and a texture.

Nothing about a recessed USB-C connector, which would save the cable and protect the controller port.
(No, this pretty young thing is Doomed the first time you drop it)

They aren't a different size, not that I can tell.
The old controller (one of them) has one half of the handles coated in knurled plastic, the other half is smooth. 

I tried taking a picture but what is the point, you all prolly know way more than I.

The cleanest, workingest one I own on the right,
The new one (in the smashed up box) on the left.
(What, me worry?)

The "old" one works perfectly but the connector is bad, so occasionally it cuts out.

I don't know about the new one, let me drop it a few times, drink some tea, then I'll know.

I'm looking at the old one's battery-compartment sticker.
It lists the year "2020" next to some very-very fine print. 

so does the New one!
But the large numbers next to the barcodes are different.
That makes sense, them being different colors.

The handles are the biggest difference so far.

"xbox accessories" is the app to use to adjust the controller, I *think*.
But on a PC, you're limited by what you can do. No joystick "dead zone",

no (just as an example) way to adjust the amount of vibration...
I hope I'm wrong, and there's another app or, an adjustment option in most games.
"Gamesir" had an advantage over xbox, and I nearly bought another, but why throw good money after bad.... Maybe that's the wrong bromide to use for these overpriced things, that change price based upon color.

I'm terrible at most videogames but the one I'm playing now relies heavily on controller skill, and the GameSir just wasn't cutting it. 
There's a quest called "Climb the tower" I totally hate, that works better with the new controller.
I mean, I still *die* occasionally but it's better.

Doing that quest, having to repeat it, or another quest like it, is prolly what broke the GameSir controller in the first place.