Random and important thoughts (ROTD's) mixed together.
"Whatever you believe, or can conceive of, someone else thought it up first, believes it as well, and has a better Blog"
Agenda Smith (or "Jones") is a fantasy I just made up,
an extremely attractive-to-you woman with only mundane everyday goals on her mind.
What makes this woman so special is, someone told her when she was little that
guys never know what you're thinking, therefore
they need to be told exactly what to do,
everyone goes gaga for unemotional beings (so strive to be unemotional while maintaining incredible hotness)
She'd keep insecure guys begging to know what she wants, try not to smile.
Apparently (because it's a fantasy) she gets to tell you what to do like some pushy nurse. Except unlike most nurses, she's hot and you have a chance.
And since she's unemotional, she won't endlessly recriminate you when she's in a bad mood (she'll simply state she's in a bad mood and needs "me-time")
In deference to societal norms, she'll wear an angora-type sweater, have yard-long straight hair with bangs (very very light hair) and blue eyes she changes to brown or dark hazel using contacts, for that hypnotic effect.
If you're ignoring her lately she goes out to buy ever more expensive and enhancing makeup until you're entranced once again, which makes her happy (but she'd never ever say that, it's in a vault with her age, likes/dislikes and monthly cycles)
Google!! Teenage actress 80's:
OK sure, I'm repetitive (and unclear, apparently) but I have my reasons!
No. Yes. (I don't know, "Cute but wrong")
Too obvious, too succubussy, (don't gaze on this picture too long)
A very young actress from (1990, 1980, ???) looked precisely like her, in her blue-track-suit, but what was the movie, or the plot? Why does she just stand there in my head, she must have said something??
Yes!! OK the shock of then-to-now threw me but she's still got it (in the photo anyway)
OK forget her, this isn't her, and the actress was prolly too dramatic anyway.
A word, a phrase, o nevermind, you never say what you're thinking, it keeps the suspense going.
(What Suspense? I'm going to die of a heart-attack, if this ulcer doesn't kill me first)
(I'm working on my tenses and my pronouns, I have not mastered them. Everyone not me is "You", and the general human race (including me) is "you", and everything happens in the present tense, or the future.
It was more, now it's less, so I looked up "why".
You can't write a "post script" except in a letter; everywhere else it's an edit for the truly lazy who don't want to rewrite the whole entire thing.
But
The above actress has had a stroke, in an article I didn't really read.
Wait! Train of thought leaving the station:
Does a stabbing intolerable pain count as a stroke?
A pain that comes to you every 45 seconds?
I wasn't timing them but it sure seemed like around that long.
Hers was a for-real, honest-to-god stroke,
and she's rich,
and has a family, and was on a plane,
so it's a big deal that made it to a newspaper.
Mine could be a joke on some doctor's lips but it won't be, because I will never mention it, A pain on the tip of my useless leg while laying in bed.
Strangest thing, though, I swear.
Don't ya hate how confident people are? "It's your spine." Well, it shouldn't have gone away, and since when does a spine act exactly like some slow moving clock?
But if you're right, I shoulda been looking for popcorn kernels or wrinkled sheets pressing on my back, not wasting time massaging my legs.
Unless it was "referred Pain", something else you're all so confident about.
I Don't wanna get too specific, but the old bromides about "Diet, Exercise" don't work.
Wait, We have more bromides!! What, you thought we'd leave you in the lurch, bromideless?
Smoking!! That bad-boy there is good for a few rounds of bullshitiness.
Aging!!
Black!! (o. so, nevermind)
(um) Pancreas!!
Gallstones! (wait, your leg, You say?)
googling...
The bromides and household tips to be had from the internet probably include inaccuracies. Hell, I don't know your politics, I only needed an intro to a parent having her kid "huff" Isopropyl alcohol (10%?) as an experiment to see if the kid would start seeing stuff or at least get sleepy. Wait, *why* was this important?
Because there are six-zillion kinds of alcohol, each with its own folklore and internet web-pages.
Same with Pain.
Fuck the damn pain, they don't know, don't care, and would lie if they knew for political-correctness sake.
This blog never tries to sell anyone anything, unless you wanted to trade for...anyway, no ulterior motives, no heroic acts of salesmanship. But that seems to be what you want, that and being proud you didn't buy off of amazon. I want to know how to remove concrete stains from my "Sims 4," an impossibly-hard subject to google. Someone thought that it would be cute if lightning struck sidewalks every few seconds, especially around where people have property. But they don't have any way to remove it. There are people who want to tell you how to remove ""cat puke," how to use Draino for stains. This is a fantasy-game, you'd think there's an easy cheat I just haven't discovered yet.
And the Mariah Carey song (I always thought it was about a soldier deployed overseas)
Christmas is one of those sweet/sad holidays (I wouldn't actually know, I just heard it usually gets portrayed that way)
And there's an extremely exploitative commercial doing a song of "Silent Night" reminding you not to smoke or drink (cuz you'll die and kill someone), don't forget meth and crack too but nevermind, they don't exist, they're a myth (and they're not taxed)
So who the hell is it written for, to impress you?
Lemme translate (rofl)
Yada affects blah.
But when calcium is low, your minion-glands really dig DEEP to find calcium, screwing up the rest of your body,
making you fat,
causing you to become more diabetic.
Did you note the bit about "Vitamin D"?
It's slightly puzzling that the body freaks when you don't have a lot of calcium, but doesn't give a shit about vitamin D or more people would care (and they'd stick more in the yogurt, etc)
So anyway read the first sentence again, slowly: PTH (parathyroid-juice) and Vitamin D make you have more calcium, like that toilet float in your toilet tank sinks when water gets too low, turning on the spigot.
But If Vitamin D is low (and it is) it screws up the body's own measurements, and it overcompensates.
You might wanna know WHY your D is being sucked DRY, but nevermind, they'll pump it back up like the air in a leaky-tire.
If you give me food, I'll overcompensate for the lack of nicotine in my system, eating like a big cow, screwing up my Vitamin D (because obese people hide their vitamin D in their fat.)
The toilet-float in my parathyroids is never happy, turning on the spigot to get my calcium going, which it can't so it sits there, running all night, like a runny toilet.
Solution:
Smoke.
Ahh, smoking. Just enough to satisfy my cravings, let vitamin D come out of the fat-closet, making the parathyroids happy, and pushing up my calcium.
There.
Now award me my prize, please.
"You did WHAAT??!!"
I saw that line in a movie, very dramatic.
Were you paying attention?
Vitamin D is low due to diabetes, which might be affected by a rocky kidney.
(It's all circular, so which came first, the D, The Kidney or the Diabetes?)
If your kidney won't work right, D might not get absorbed very well.
If D doesn't get absorbed very well, two things (at least) happen,
Diabetes can occur, and Calcium gets low.
Parathyroids go on overdrive looking for calcium, making them,
"HYPERparathyrotic" (I gotta go find the right term)
On my bathroom floor is an ad for phones. No contract, it says. The cheapest plan gives you 5 gigabytes of data before it slows to a crawl, the kind of crawl you'd expect on a google-news page. the next level up is 25 gigabytes (I think, or did I skip tons)
the NEXT level starts getting serious, they Allow you (gee, aren't they nice)
to have 10 gigabytes of Hotspot data.
OK I can see now why they cut off wifi during tethering, it's something they'd rather you paid dearly for.
Now OK if you're an outgoing girl or guy, you might have already met someone with internet connections, which they'd be happy to let you use. I mean, they're on cable. The phone companies must've wanted to burn everything with pitchforks, "Kill The Monster!!"
Because they couldn't have a guy and his friends giving away free internet.
OK this is long and complicated, best to remove the crusty-crap first.
You've met them, smart(?) people who look down on you, but you're good enough to troubleshoot their chronically dead battery, the one they keep pouring baking soda onto, and loosening the battery connectors to remove and quickly charge the thing wherever they're at.
Well, shit, they know loose connectors shouldn't be loose, but they have good reasons.
That chemical crap building up at the connectors, making the electricity harder to get through....I wasn't ranting, you wanna see rants? Fine, I'll paste a few bombastic articles that mostly say,
whatever happens, keep your phosphorus and your calcium intake in a tight ratio (your body's supposed to do that for you but it might not be working right)
And, your handy-dandy blood test, where's the Phosphorous????
OK that was the intro, give me time to work up the energy for a research project on parathyroidism.
(still glossing and summarizing)
Glands around the thyroid gland (four of them?) regulate PTH, a chemical regulating the calcium/phosphorous level in your body.
So (reviewing) TSH=Thyroid Juice, PTH=Minion (para) Juice.
Or making it more readable (can you guess now WHY I repeat myself?)
The Thyroid releases a chemical keeping TSH low but not too low.
Parathyroid glands release PTH for a good calcium/Phosphorus mix.
(Who releases the TSH that the thyroid regulates? Fucket, I dunno)
"Thyroid-stimulating hormone, also known as TSH, is a glycoprotein hormone produced by the anterior pituitary. It is the primary stimulus for thyroid hormone production by the thyroid gland." The pituitary-gland, OK? stop interrupting.
"Do I need a phosphorus test????" Is a question you might wanna ask the next professional you see, if your vitamin D is too low or you drink like a fish.
What's up with "Phosphate" is it like "Phosphorus"??
Uh...
Let's pretend the machine broke in 2/2018
So now we have (lessee) "Phosphorus"
"Phosphate"
"Phosphatase"
You love to obfuscate and confuse...
OK we agree that phosphorus and phosphate are the same, what about "phosphatase"?
Before I go look (IE this sentence is half-cocked)
my D is low, my phospha-sometin-umptin is high(er) uh,...
OK I got distracted. I need more calcium to make up for the fact that the calcium I *have* is not being absorbed.
OK *NOW* I gotta go look up "Phosphatase" unless it's a typo.
No, it points to Bilirubin.
This little blurb of a box (Total vs Direct Bilirubin) will probably be glossed over by you and your doctor, but I want you to remember another blurb. Delete it from your mind if you want, but it happened.
There's probably tons of Twilight Zone Episodes obsessed with death, but I only remember two.
One was notable because for most of the time I grew up, there was this actor named "Robert Redford" who got all famous after a couple really-gigantic movie successes, but was still pretty unknown when the TV show he was in was made.
Death has to trick this old woman into letting him into her house.
She's a bit of a snob, probably republican don'tcha know, and is eternally creeped out by him, until she remembers, she's really dead.
You might know why you're dying, you might even know when, but you can't cheat death by taking a couple vitamins.
And that pimple on your kidney or liver has to grow into a biggie cancerous cyst before they'll go "Oh. You have Cancer. We shoulda caught that years ago but you know, covid and we're stewpid" "You're going to die"
But given the info they give you, you might find out you've been wasting tons on vitamins that don't work.
This next link is only readable by people who know what this stuff is, So despair, mere mortal, from knowing why phosphate is so important and why your doctor did not order any tests for it.
Think of your body as a machine with many relays, many checks and balances.
"Phosphate" is one of those relays/balances.
You could role-play yourself into reading your dad's notes on reanimation...
I've got this great fucking quote, I just can't remember it...Your young mind will grasp it quick, read the first few lines of the link!! (minus-to-plus, plus to minus)
Yes, you're soo smart, now cut the shit and talk normally.
"Vitamin D2, Vitamin D3" or something else? (Vitamin e=mc^2)?
I only care about what's on sale at waaalmaarrrt (*waaa* (sniff) WHUT?)
WHY the fuck didn't you just say "d3"? "mimimi25^ax2+bx+c=0/2ananamimi" CRAP is chemically changed food, but no one waxes bombastic about crap (do they? (oshit)
Anyway it rents a room in your sweaty rolls of fat and isn't heard from again. Pouring it on, Living in it, Being totally decadent (5000IU) will cure you (but geez)
Diabetes-whut?
Shit, I knew you'd get around to mentioning it.
So my doctor paid attention on one day and ordered a D test, fell asleep/went golfing the next when they talked "Phosphorus/Phosphates?"
So (lessee)
I'm fat
Vitamin D eludes me (because I'm fat)
and Diabetes cannot be far behind (if I'm fat and all my vitamin d is hiding)
Get some sun. Cholesterol drugs? Lose weight!!!
Now, about that Parathyroid...
People I've known have had horrible creatinine, or whatever it is that's supposed to be 1 max but is actually5.
Apparently if creatinine is so high they can't fix it, they stick you on dialysis forever. I reserve comments. But keep your creatinine low.
I guess I'm saying that, no one seems to be mentioning my kidneys, my gall-bladder or much else (someone might have dissed my liver, but it was one of those comments you aren't really sure you heard or not.)
OK maybe you know I bought Magnesium because some website said I needed it.
But to USE magnesium you need vitamin D.
Magnesium ...
You'd be better off going back to school to learn the poem ("I don't know why she swallowed the fly, perhaps she'll die") about chemistry.
This needs that, which won't work without the other thing.
Meaning, uhm, (well anyway, I get the strong feeling that) there is one primary vitamin that sort of stimulates and excites the others and makes them behave.
I skipped the part about bad symptoms. I'm remembering I read it because of all the beautiful women I've met with anemia and kidney infections.
Plus they never ate anything but Rice-cakes or salad.
Anyway, I might or might not have had some side-effects no one asked me about, lately. So if this "vitamin d" is the magic-bullet they're pushing, lemme try it first, see how it goes. If I get cured, I might worry legitimately about things like endless bathroom trips and allergies to ketchup.
I found a review page for very powerful Vitamin "D2" and the people writing the reviews are old, it's true, but they're way more depressing than the reviewers on Amazon.
I read, I swear I did, and it might even be in this blog entry or the last one,
That Vitamin d3 and d2 are similar but one gets converted to the other (d3 to d2, I *think*,) and D3 is easier to track, because it lasts longer, the other stuff they were talking about fades in a couple hours from a blood sample.
Translate what I just said into Greek, add lots of math, and you might actually see it here.
Do ya wanna be trendy, woke and unassailable in forums? (OK OK being in a forum is like living in a glass house, a house with roaches and dust and pissed-off neighbors, and noisy dogs, and cat-shit...Nevermind)
I wonder how people *live* with the furry cord-eaters, hmm.
But if you only wanted to dump slumming at terrifying places on the web,
Here is yet another reason to buy a reasonably priced x570:
X570, SATA-Capable M.2, "ESS" sound-chip, my list is growing slowly. The board above may or may not have M.2's SATA's can be used in, it was an example.
If the Thyroid is old, it could be weak, and punk TSH could rise too high.
Asshole Thyroids don't allow TSH at all and the machinery grinds to a halt because of the Thyroid being all Jabba-the-hut.
Basically I'm trying to say in a fun whimsical way that the way they talk about this stuff is ass-backwards.
Hyper: Scared TSH runs away (low)
HYPO TSH is taking over, being bullies (High)
Except (you already know this but maybe you think I don't)
Hypo is low, Hyper is High.
My OCD is killing me, High, low? What did I just write? (rereads)
Wait, I got it.
Weak dying fucking Thyroid, High TSH.
Overpowering full of piss-and-iodine, Low TSH.
(Unless it goes Nuts, then you need to feed it even more iodine)
Ok, OK, WTF?!!! How the HELL do I know which is which? Too much vs not enough?
For cryin out loud, I'll take the 99c store iodine-test thank you and skip your fucking BULLSHIT (O sorry, I haven't been well, care for a scone?)
I just looked at that whole "Thyroglobulin"-thing, it's sort of a "yellow alert" for Maybe-Tumors, maybe-iodine, maybe-something-else-I-can't-recall (I'll edit this)
I have lots more reading to do, but......Iodine appears to get the thyroid gland all excited, until it gets tired and goes to bed, and you gently die waste away.
Good idea to know how to tweak your thyroid for maximum performance, without burning it out, like some overweight doctor about to retire. If you just know how to Talk, the world is your oyster. "Indigestion?? Have you thought about eating Vitamin D? Many Parts ARE edible"
Or what I like to call "Tweaking your body for fun and profit" (have another biscuit)
Pretty women and tummies (and thyroids) I still say that the internet generally is biased towards kitties and goes on about sick women. Real men don't eat (much) or eat yogurt, let alone "Quiche" whatever it is. If you're looking for a famous internal illness (eg not an amputation) it's probably represented by a woman. Leaving a guy to wonder, "Is there something doubly wrong with me?," and of course the mere mention of the question, makes people snicker and guffaw. (Longest Picture-caption in history)
May I direct your kind attention to number 5, wherein it says
So, that's a good thing, right???
Males have a thyroid too, it's the Adam's Apple (WTF.)
A friend thought a Russian-teacher at his school was hot, and He seriously considered taking Russian lessons (or just skipping to the good part, asking her out).
He practiced his "Hello" endlessly and when the day came to introduce himself, he probably sounded better than the man on the language-tape recorder, as good as Dan Rather in Russia!
Problem was, it was the only word he really knew, and when she launched into a conversational speech, he was deeply embarrassed and ashamed of himself.
Quiet Down!! OKok, WHICH makes for Thyroids being slightly Hyper, without killing the accursed/wretched thing? Cmon, straight answer, dumping the hype ("Kelp fights cavities," o geez)
iodine lower tsh
iodine raise TSH
(The preceding sentences shoulda been google searches, but they look good here,
Yay, finally. Pulling TEETH, I swear. Taking a few right before tests might be very bad. (I'm just thinking)
Cut the shit, Dad. Iodine could make it worse, or better, you don't know (Do you?? Say it.)
BTW "Betadine" is a fancy form of Iodine, and if you're being TREATED with "Betadine" on a regular basis, it *could* affect your Thyroid-gland, I'm just saying.
In the presence of External Iodine, the Thyroid gland tweaks its own self (it is written.)
Ok but FORGET the thyroid, for a moment: It's not lazy, it's a hard worker that adapts to whatever fucked-up diet you're on.
Meaning, that you seriously need to find out what your Iodine-levels are.
Yes your Thyroid works hard, but it could go on vacation or quit.
Question: (meekly raising hand) Does Vitamin D have anything much to do with iodine-levels and Thyroid health? (IOW, that link thirty lines up, did it say *anything*, go anywhere, or was it like Dr. Watson mumbling?)
That link appeared to refer to GERD (acid-reflux) and vitamin D deficiency, but it's a very specific test done on very few people.
It's not exactly an axiom yet, it's more, science with money to burn, wonders stuff.
So, GERD could be a symptom of Vitamin D deficiency, but crowding that into diabetes and thyroid-health...good luck, But I'm still looking.
I wrote another ream and then a bug crawled by... every freaking key on this keyboard means something, and I accidentally hit "End world now, immediately, no confirmation needed"
O..Kay (ahem) Hypothyroid people were shown to have lower Vitamin D. But this is one study, not something you'd learn in a class. I'll keep looking.
If your body is so screwed up it's hopeless and you're dying, There *might* be a problem with Vitamin D as well. (ay ya) I'll keep looking
Remember the Internet's sexist (for the purposes of this entry) Bias. Imagine also that men must get grave's disease too, not just looking at porn or "Dulcinea" (So I've renamed the world-famous disease "Dulcinea's disease," it does not sound as grave as "Grave's disease.") And, After the party comes the reckoning. (IOW, graves can lead to Hashimoto's.) The poor attacked and beleaguered thyroid is too popped to poop, dead on its feet, "Gravely" ill. Hashimoto's comes next. (sometimes)
OK so I exaggerated just a little, but they're related.
In perfect worlds, symptoms are so clear a med student or nurse would catch them.
The real world is more sordid and vague, you could be literally dying and no one would know.
So what's a symptom for normal-thyroid, alarmingly low vitamin-D?
I have this budding theory that diseases have to start *somewhere* before they become full-blown diseases (that you can stick labels on).
It's nice to hear professionals sometimes, not amateurs trying to sound professional, playing like a high school band, but veterans playing a well known piece (the "sehr breit" beginning, anyway) efficiently, yet beautifully.
And in that vein, if you have a few really bad maladies but your doctor is directing your treatment like a symphony-conductor....
Hey you're hogging all the talent,
us healthier people need love too.
OK so I'll never be a politician or an artist,
but don't *I* deserve better treatment?
Fucket.
Stick me with your hose til I die, you assholes. There's nothing down there but I know you just love to look.
Things they know about but never ever test for (So it has to be too fucking late before they'll fucking notice:)
I was hor (*mmHmm!!*) I was hoarse as hell for around six months, and the side effect was, I talked too fucking loud for the next six months.
The hoarseness had nothing to do At All with respiratory illnesses.
Your thyroid is so fucking high up on your body's food chain, when it throws a tantrum (it's in your neck) stuff around it tends to notice.
I feel I should edit this paragraph...Fucket.
I waited 24 hours to add anything, you're bored and I don't want to be bombastic.
So let's talk about something else, "Vitamin D"
Don't ya love the way they say "4.4" as if it's understood what they mean? Let's maybe incorrectly surmise, I have 4 out of a minimum of 20, and they're not following the recommendations of some sales-council (dairy, nut or veggie) That's pretty damned low, right?
Hang on, "ng/ml"
I guess they mean, "nano-gram"
and a milliliter is 20-drops of water.
So we're talking very tiny doses, and I can't even measure up to that!!
OK Bart Simpson got "rickets" because Homer didn't raise him right, but that was a fleeting joke on a single show, you'll remember Bart had a bulging tummy, just like me.
Plus, no one's mentioning "Rickets," not yet.
I thought I was taking all the decent supplements snooty people take, but I totally forgot D.
Some densely worded survey says I need B12 as well, I don't know, they never bothered to test!
They have a large menu like the one at McDonald's and doctors only pick so much because ordering ALL the tests would be boring and hard to look at.
But I've been there long enough to know I was low on "B" before.
useless CRAP, well at least I know (sheit) I'll go buy megadose d and b12.
They'll never talk english, women and republicans would doubt their veracity, so this next dressed-up bit says (I know what it says but you'll disbelieve me)
People with stomach problems, especially stomach cancer, have more problems absorbing vitamin D.
There's a correlation between Vitamin B12 and vitamin D levels, and stomach problems. (Exactly what the correlation *is* I can't say because they pulled some math from the air, but let's maybe infer that Vitamin D is lacking, it's tied in with Vitamin B somehow. I will find a good quote in english, if I can (it's pretty late)
